I had a dream years ago unlike any other I’ve ever had:
I was walking alone on a dusty mountain at night. Walking slowly, deep in thought, I rounded a corner. Right in front of me was a giant Being in robes directly facing me. I fell down backwards in astonishment and fear. While I lay on the ground, the Being pulled a horn of some type out of Its robe and began to blow on it making a sound not unlike a voice. Laying there in surprise, I did not recognize the sound but I seemed to instantly know what it meant. Without a word, I jumped up and ran past the Being, picking up speed as I went. As I ran with a purpose, the sun began to rise and give shape to the barren landscape around me. I realized I was nearing an impossible cliff. Excited by the new visual information, I ran even faster. The next thing I knew, time seemed to slow as I reached the edge of the cliff. I could see my bare foot making contact with the ground for the last time as I launched wildly, purposefully into the void.
What I will never, ever forget about the dream, and what has stayed with me the longest, is the fact that the fear and dread I expected never materialized. I was completely overwhelmed by feelings of freedom, excitement, possibility, a type of life I never knew existed. Thrilling feelings long buried or drowned out by fear and the dread were awakened. God showed me I had no idea what the "life" part of living was, but the tantalizing possibility really was out there. Christianity for me has always been frustrating and desperately meaningless when I forget that it is the very real interaction with the True and Living God. Then I remember that nothing is more wild, unpredictable, freeing, or intimate than a real relationship with God.
If you have never encountered the Living God, if you have never had the thrilling, real feeling of being in way, way over your head before a Being before whom you are laid absolutely bare, then I highly recommend it! Believe me, when you are dealing with a Being who knows you intimately and whose thoughts and ways we cannot conceive of, your life will be different than you planned in a many different ways, all of them good. I was never happier in my life than when God took me someplace new (metaphorically). On my own, I seem to be only capable of getting myself into deeper ruts that continuously make me unhappy. When I again turn to Him and give Him all of my problems, then the wind of the Spirit points me in a new direction. Invariably, the new direction is one which I would have never chosen myself, yet satisfies me far more than I deserve. He is real, and His interactions with His children are real.
For many years I used to think Christianity meant closing as many of the doors around you as possible and living contentedly in your tiny, safe space. The closer I get to God, though, the more surprising my interactions with Him become. Lately, the way He works is: He kicks open doors I never knew existed and encourages me to try different directions, often having to give me a push. The astonishingly intimate aspect of the Christian life comes when you quit demanding that God jump in at "key" moments and realize He is far more interested in the "in between" moments. This life is not the "safe" life I left behind, it is exciting and scary and new. Instead of the old life filled with fear and guilt and repression, this life is God- next to me, whispering to me, daring me to do new things I would never have dreamed, pushing me past my comfort zone in a gentle, intimate, and yes at times humorous way. He is never impatient and frustrated with me, as I get sometimes with my own children. The simplest act of obedience to Him is met with a sense of joy and purpose which nothing else in this world compares to.
Jesus said in John 14:12 "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father". He didn't say that because we are the least bit competent, He knew better. He said that because He knew He was dealing with children with faith much smaller than mustard seeds, but His will is great, and His will will be done, even in our weakness. Success is connecting with God and participating in even the smallest way in His will, not choosing really great things to do FOR Him. Jesus said in John 15:5 "“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." Apart from Christ I have to guess at what good things to do, and if I never stop and interact with Him I will only end up where I decide. Life will be boring, predictable, a chore. Stopping and seeking Him and yes, even waiting on Him is time well spent. Think about it, of all the nice things we can do FOR God, and as precious and small our time is here on the earth I GUARANTEE when we get to heaven the time we spend seeking for and waiting on God will NOT be time that we regret.
Thanks for sharing, Lori, what a special dream and message to ponder during this time of year and all through it.
ReplyDeleteI needed to hear this today. Thanks for sharing! I'm so glad you're in my life again!
ReplyDeleteI love the part where you say we tend to only look to God at what we consider "key" moments in our life - when we actually feel that it's "momentous" enough for His intervention. It's very true that many of us think of Him this way.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, we consider Him a "pocket God" to be pulled out only at our whim and to only serve our needs at a time of our choosing, to be put away again when we're done with Him.
Second, that kind of approach completely ignores the opportunities in life where He wants to participate - those opportunities are invariably at times that we would just gloss over. Events that seem so minor to us could be HUGE to Him! We just have to be open at all times. Like you mentioned to me the other day: Paul probably considered his time spent in jail writing letters to the Churches as a minor distraction from what he considered his true purpose of preaching. But, those letters he jotted down to his friends and contemporaries are now the foundation for our modern churches and the most significant apologetic arguments still used today!